Rank the JP kid/teen characters

As the title says. You may pick only the major characters, or include all the minor ones too, as you choose.

So mine:

1. Lex
2. Tim
3. Cathy
4. The Montana kid
5. Eric
6. Sattler's unnamed baby infant
7. Kelly
8. Gyrosphere teen operator dude
9. Zach
10. Charlie
11. Gray

Lex first because first and foremost she seems like a real little girl. She's like the sister I would have always wanted. I like Crichton's book version too, as that Lex is very natural as well in her constant crying and all, but for a movie this more calm and older version is more suitable as constant moaning would have made listening to her obnoxious. She can still act terrified and panicky, as proven by not only the road attack and afterwards when she's still shaking of Gennaro's betrayal, but she can get it together quickly. And she has personal traits such as the vegetarian and "hacker" things, both which come in to play. Ariana Richards is also very natural actor and I love her as person in real life too.

Much of the same also applies to Tim, and his dino nerd enthusiasm is nice opposite for Lex who doesn't really care of dinosaurs. Tim's also part of two action scenes that have nothing to do with dinosaurs (car in the tree + fence) which makes him unique character in JP franchise. I rank him lower than Lex for one thing though... And no I'm not really talking of how he's "indestructible" like Jurassic Park Podcast people would say, but because he doesn't pick up the damn gun at the control room floor! Timmy you idiot  

Cathy Bowman at the start of TLW is prime example of how you should write a kid actor for minor role. Not obnoxious, not unrealistic. And they go straight to the point with her, there's a reason why they had to had kid for this one. Really good little actress. Honestly she should've been the only kid in the film (well, other than  the Lex/Tim cameo moment)

The Montana kid at the start of JP doesn't really do much but the facial expressions are spot on. Once again, like Lex and Tim he acts like a real kid when Grant starts telling his horror story, and that's all I ask.

Eric Kirby is all right, you hear me! He's all right. Of all the major kids in the sequels he does the least harm. I mean, I still don't think he should really be there, because not every film needs to have kids character just because. The script could've easily been modified not to have kids. But, but, for what he is written to be, he is alright. That's not to say I like everything he does (like singing the stupid Kirby ring tone) but there are no real big drawbacks I can think of? His chemistry with Grant seems natural and you can sort of believe he might have survived there alone for so long. Well at least almost...

Sattler's unnamed infant baby does nothing and is therefore automatically better than kids below.

Kelly is the first one on this list I actively do not like. She's not quite as annoying brat as the one in the book (and thank god Arby isn't here at least), and Vanessa Lee Chester is a fine actor, but other than that there's not much to be celebrated. The gymnastics scene is pretty awful, but even more terrible is the bit she has with Malcolm on the mainland. She bitches about Malcolm never grounding him, wtf? Then whe she is on the island, she literally does nothing and is completely useless. There's very little plot device with her and she might as well not be there. The only thing she has going is the substitute mother relationship with Sarah, but that's about it.

The JW gyrosphere operator dude, whatever his name is, is meant to be stereo typically annoying, and it works. Also, would they really let someone like that in charge of those magical balloons in highly dangerous environment? This isn't exactly like ferris wheel or children's train. [[[At this point, since we're talking of the people in the park, I'd also like to give honorable mention to the petting zoo kids who are effectively killing off all the apatosaurus babies and other little dinos, but I'm not ranking them since they are multiple people.]]]

Zach is someone I'd like to punch in a face. I mean both the character and actor. He, like half of the characters on this list also shouldn't exist. The reason he's not at the bottom is because at least he has a story arch of sorts, even if not great.

Charlie single handed ruins the Spinosaurus river scene with the stupid Barney attics. THANKS CHARLIE. DINOSAUR MAN COULD'VE DIED.

Finally everything about Gray is terrible.

Not counting minor characters, since I can't process that kind of thing right now...
1. Tim
2. Gray
3. Lex
4. Kelly
5. Eric
6. Zach

I would rather focus on the prominent kid/teen characters in the series, since there's only so much you can comment on when it comes to Cathy, Charlie or unnamed Montana kid (though the latter is an amusing case if you want to connect him to Owen in your personal canon).

1) Tim - There is no doubt that I was Tim for a good part of my childhood when it came to dinosaurs! His intelligence, optimism and toughness for his age casts him in a pretty good light, not to mention having the best and most memorable interactions with Dr Grant! Even his heckling for Grant's attention isn't annoying! Baring the case of almost being electrocuted, Tim is who I wanted to be as a 8-10 year old watching the film.

2) Lex - Despite some dumb moments with the flashlight, Lex is a well acted and sympathetic character, and despite being not that interesting at first (besides a humorous interest in hanging out with Dr Grant) her big sister instinct kicks in and helps keep Tim alive during the kitchen scene. She's also way more tolerable here than her book counterpart, who really served no purpose. I do wish we had a bit more time to establish her tech-savvy/hacker abilities, though.

3) Gray - With Gray's implied autism, quietness, social awkwardness, sensitivity and obsession with reciting facts, watching him actually reminded me of my more sensitive years as a kid. If someone met me as a 10 year old and we weren't talking about dinosaurs, I would have had a lot of Gray's idiosyncrasies. His main plot contributions are fending off an angry Delta with his brother, and the "we need more teeth" line which leads to Claire unleashing Rexy. Also, Gray being upset at the divorce of his parents was actually concurrent with some serious family drama I was experiencing in 2015, so I felt myself in his shoes more than I expected to. So, if you want to know why I am more lenient towards him, well there it is.

4) Eric - I consider Eric to be one of the redeeming features of JP3, he's smart and shows good survival skills and I like watching his interactions with Grant. To be honest, I wish those kinds of scenes took up more of the film than any amount of Mr & Mrs Kirby. He has aspects of

5) Kelly - I'm pretty neutral when it comes to Kelly, a lot of her characterisation annoys me (like the early conversations with Malcolm about not grounding her), but Vanessa Lee Chester does give a decent performance with what she has and she has her badass moments (albiet goofy ones, you know the scene I'm referring to), and is smart enough to get away from the trailer when the Infant Rex starts calling for help.

6) Zach - He's pretty unlikable for too much of the film, not to mention creepily eying up other girls at the park despite having a perfectly attractive girlfriend. While he does have an arc, its compromised by those earlier establishing scenes, as well as acting indifferent at the whole dinosaur theme park thing. Like Lex he does start actively keeping his brother out of harm's way, and stops being a jerk to him but it doesn't do that much for me.

1- Gray
2- Lex
3- Tim
4- Kelly





MILLES AWAY


5- Eric


MORE MILLES AWAY


GALAXIES AWAY


6- Zach