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 Les Gigantes Bar and Grill

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T-rex-king
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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:56 pm

*bullet whizzes by Rexman as a warning shot*
No one takes me kettle of rum without letting me drink it. Bring it back so we can be merry without the annoying joiners that comes around this time of the year.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Dec 31, 2016 8:09 pm

*Facepalms whilst staring at computer*

I DIDNT MEAN TO ADD YOU TO MY FOES LIST

*Sighs and stands from chair*

All these buttons confuse things. Hey, could I have a brandy? I'm hoping to drown my knowledge that too many of the recent posts on this website are by me.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:37 am

*Parks customized Metal Gear Rex*

This is my first time here.

*Eats his meat and cheese lovers pizza.*

Ah yes. This hits that spots. Let me tell ya. This is really good.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:07 pm

*random bottle of brandy flies out from kitchen and bounces off Smug's face*

*bill for Rhedosaurus' meat-and-cheese lovers' pizza (when did we start serving that?) follows it, landing in front of Rhed himself*

Yeah, well I hope you brought the cash to match such a wonderful meal.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 07, 2017 2:33 pm

OW! That hurt!

*Chugs brandy*

You should have a 'flying alcohol hazard' sign someplace.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:05 pm

*pays for Theta Rex for the pizza*

It was worth every penny.

*Looks around and see the 1980's jukebox from the JPL Bar and Grill* Ah, there it is.

*Inserts quarter*


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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 07, 2017 4:54 pm

*Turns off Jukebox*

Ech, modern music is LAME. How 'bout we listen to a classic?

*Inserts coin*



I am frightened.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Mon Jan 09, 2017 2:42 pm

Yeah, that jukebox is a bit... well, unorthodox.

I mean it came with the bar and grill when we moved in, but after a certain waitress kept nailing the thing shut with LoTR discs crammed inside I packed it up and shoved it into the attic.

After said waitress vanished, I brought it back down and fixed it up, but something about it was... different. I mean... I don't remember there ever being a bloody coin slot on the thing.

Personally I blame Pokes, seeing as like 90% of the problems around here are his fault.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Tue Jan 10, 2017 1:14 am

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:10 pm

Good, that means I'm doing my job correctly.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:59 pm

This place still brainwashes people? Ugh, I hate bugs. I'll go to the dev room and try to patch it.

*Pulls secret switch that opens a secret passageway*

I swear we fixed the brainwash glitch already...oh well.

*Enters development room*

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:50 am

"'Scuse me, sir, that area is strictly off-limits. Only the staff may go in there.

*Contemplates this*

"Oh yeah, we ate all the staff. Carry on."  

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:57 am

...well, I know one thing.

I do not remember giving the location of the restricted lever for the very much confidential and not-to-be-entered-under-any-circumstances secret underground development room to a pair of filthy cockwombles halfway down their bottles.

So, under the normal lawful terms laid down upon the founding of this establishment, I should be rushing up to the security room, smashing the door down (because the bloody keyhole is knackered and the key won't fit), grabbing the cattle prod and very kindly showing you the exit at prod-point.

But, since I frankly don't give a rat's arse, and since Pokes doesn't even show up anymore to make sure I'm following the regulations, I'll just sit back and watch you go at it.

Have fun, lads.

...

...also the cattle prod went missing months ago.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:41 am

I'm immune to brainwashing so I don't have a problem.

@SmugTheFab wrote:
Ech, modern music is LAME. How 'bout we listen to a classic?

I agree, 80% of modern music sucks.

*Inserts quarter in 80's jukebox*



Ah, yes. This hits the spot.

*Dances*

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:02 pm

What was a doing again? Oh no, it's happening to me too!

*Quickly de-bugs LesGigantesBarGrill.exe*

There, how's that?

*Re-emerges into the Bar & Grill*

Uh oh, the entire menu has changed to different flavours of waffles. Oh well...I'll have seven waffles, please.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:27 pm

Uh... right, waffles... um... *checks menu*

...

...ah, bollocks. One second. *rushes into the backroom*

Nope! No, no, no! None! Buggeration!

*returns*

Okay, so the good news is... we don't have waffles. Or is that the bad news? I uh... no, that's definitely the bad news. Yup.

Good news is... there's a waffle store down the road. Watch the bar while I go and... legally purchase their wares. Yes.

*exits the bar and grill carrying a loaded shotgun*

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:55 pm

Alright. You do that.

*Sits at a table*

Oh, and would you be a dear and head across the pond to fetch some tea while your at it?

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:43 pm

*walks back into the bar and grill carrying several boxes full of waffles and a still-smoking shotgun*

Okay, done. Now lessee... which flavors did he want... um... all of them? Maybe... whatever.

*dumps entire waffle haul in front of Smug*

As for the tea, it should be here in a couple of-

*enormous metal crate full of pristine British tea smashes through the roof, then through the floor and then through several more floors below that until finally an almost inaudible thud is heard*

...oh, sodding hell. Forgot how deep that goes...

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:55 pm

*Enjoys the waffles enormously*

Thank you kindly, mate. Um, could I borrow your phone? I'd like to call a search-and-rescue team to retrieve that tea.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:40 pm

...yeah, sure.

*grabs the phone from behind the bar and slides it over to Smug*

We're lucky I'm the only old-timer still working at this place, otherwise at least seven people would be dead and Pokes' nuclear reactor (yes, he had one here, and no, it didn't serve any real purpose) would be going critical because... reasons.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:37 pm

Ha. Thanks.

*Dials and puts phone to ear*

Okay... really? You don't really mean... seriously? That much? Wow. Alright. See ya then.

*Throws phone at Theta Rex's skull*

They said they'd be here right away. They also said that it would cost the entire state of Texas.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:40 am

*picks phone up and tosses it away*

It costs the entire state of Texas to recover a crate full of tea from ten floors underground? What the hell are they sending to recover it, Godzilla?

The bloody hacks that flew that bloody crate here better start emptying their bloody wallets sharpish, otherwise I'm gonna have to go waffle-shopping again.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:57 pm

Oh, well, I'm not payin' for it, I know that much.

*Excuses self to bathroom*

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Mon Jan 16, 2017 2:03 am

Let's hope it doesn't rain.

*Turns on the TV*

". . .dark clouds. . .expect mild rainfall. . ."

Really? That's an overused cliché. Who's writing this garbage anyway?

*Reaches for walnut bowl*



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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Fri May 05, 2017 8:31 pm

*cliche tumbleweed rolls across bar*

Yeesh. This place is really poppin.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Fri May 05, 2017 11:20 pm

Can it Dippy Fresh! Razz

I just realized I still have my Suicide Squad avy. I love Harley....but jeeze what a train wreck.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Fri May 05, 2017 11:39 pm

I think I read a creepy theory somewhere that Mabel might have had crush for Dippy Fresh.
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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Sat May 06, 2017 12:13 am

^That is concerning. Then again, she had a crush on Alexander Hamilton.
Anyways, can someone pass me a root beer? If it isn't rotten, of course.

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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Thu Jun 01, 2017 6:58 pm

Waiter. I'll have a big Ruben sandwich, no sauerkraut. A big ol glass of root beer, and french fries with salt one them.

*Puts a quarter in the 1980's music jukebox.*


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PostSubject: Re: Les Gigantes Bar and Grill   Thu Jun 01, 2017 7:58 pm

*ceiling opens up above Rhed, dispensing a ton of salt on the table before him, quickly followed by a tattered French flag*

Argh, frigging junk... fine, I'll make it myself, shall I...

*several minutes of clattering and banging in the kitchen follow*

Sorry for the delay, Mr. Fredosaurus or whatever your name was... here is your order. And the bill too... for this meal and the other seven or so you didn't bother paying for. Enjoy.

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